Homospiritual Meditation of the Week – Week of March 24, 2013

A Meditation for your week…

“How we balance our ability to create with our ability to surrender is the direct manifestation of being like a Creator. The existence of one cannot be proven without a doubt or denied entirely so either way, it is up to us to live out what we would believe a Creator would do, if one exists. I say, if I were a Creator, I would have a rush of power, knowing that I can control so much within me and yet a resolve of surrender, knowing that, as a fair Creator, I ought not control all that is around me. In our efforts to know this balance, our inner goddess and god comes to life. That is Divine and that, my friends, is where the bad-assery truly begins. These are my words.”

~ Gail Dickert, author of Enlightened-ish, a Grief Memoir about Spiritual Awakening, release date pending

Namaste, yo.

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Exodus International, I Forgive You

When you see the end of an era coming upon your soul, resistance is futile… wholeness is the only option.Forgiveness

Exodus International, I forgive you for teaching me that there is a God who is intolerant of me.

Exodus International, I forgive you for pulling me away from my body.

Exodus International, I forgive you for pulling me away from my family.

Exodus International, I forgive you for dividing me from my own mind.

Exodus International, I forgive you for dividing me from my own spirit.

Exodus International, I forgive you for raping my soul.

Exodus International, I forgive you for molesting my identity.

Exodus International, I forgive you…

Not because you have stopped hurting others with your cult tactics.

Not because you aren’t guilty of attempting to control others with ideas about heterosexual supremacy.

But because you taught me how to hate…

And it’s time I surrender that tactic entirely.

Forgiveness is my act of self-love and an act of refusing to hold any space for hate, even hatred for your ways.

I will not have space for hate anymore.

I will not hate myself for being human.

I will not hate God for making me homosexual.

I will not hate people for not understanding how spirituality and sexuality beautifully converge.

I will not hate churches for refusing to honor my commitment to love.

I will not hate this world for being a place where choices are taken away from us.

I will be a person of love.

So, in short…

Exodus International, love really did win out for me.

Because I forgive you for teaching me to hate.

~~

For anyone who has been damaged by the ex-gay movement’s attempt at genocide, know that there is hope and you will move BEYOND being “ex-gay.” www.beyondexgay.com And for anyone who has ever held on too long to an injury to your soul, know that in just wanting to let go, a change will come, the earth will tremble and eventually, forgiveness will find you…

In the News: Exodus shuts down its residential soul-raping facility. http://www.exgaywatch.com/wp/2011/09/love-in-action-suspends-residential-program/

To read more about my most recent transformation regarding ex-gay survival, follow the “ex-gay lie” category on my blog or view this category from my old site.

The Church as Oppressor

Let’s tap into the wisdom of this online community of which we are all becoming a part. Since I started opening up more about what the Fundamentalists did to my sense of identity/community, specifically through the soul-raping techniques of those who believe in “reparative” therapy, I’ve received dozens of emails and read heart-wrenching stories from others who were also in the same sinking boat that we now call “Christianity.”

That is one conclusion…

Christianity is a sinking ship, full of cargo that represents cancerous lies about grace and hell. A ship without a captain and with a crew that is drunk on “righteousness” and “holiness” as it heads for the inevitable iceberg of Humility where its Titanic “We’re Bigger than God and We are the Only Ship in this Ocean” philosophies will come to a tragic but perhaps necessary end.

Whoa!

Is that where I see Christianity’s story going?

Well, probably not, but after having read and responded to some of your emails, I thought I would call upon the church-goers of our community and ask you explain why you attend church. For those of us who still struggle to engage in the Christian community, inquiring minds want to know…

How has being a part of church set you free?

And this can go for any religion, Christian or otherwise because at this point in my journey, and after drinking Bill Maher’s Kool-Aid by watching “Religulous,” I’m thirsty for some words of freedom from anyone who is going to church.

The floor is yours… tell us…

Is it just us or is “Church” destined to lead to social, emotional, spiritual or even financial oppression?

Note: I will approve all comments on this post so you guys see exactly what I see. Let’s be kind and honest and allow Love and Light to draw us closer. Namaste!

Also, for those writing in, please continue to do so! You are soul food. gail_dickert@yahoo.com.

 

Human Beings, Not Human Doings

Process, process, process. I get a little exhausted with my own process but as my baby blog coos at 5,000 hits after only 4 months of being in this world, I am humbled by the undeniable truth that people dig process. I ask myself “Why are people so drawn to this? What is it that I’m offering? For Gail So Loved the World… so what?

Well, your emails tell me all.

The reason that this blog has become such an inspiration and the Facebook page has become a safe space for conceiving questions that give birth to life-giving wisdom is simple.

We are all open to it.

Openness is a special kind of gift that we are giving one another when we share our stories and when we answer each question with a well-thought out, open-minded answer.

This is not what we learned from the Christian Fundamentalists.

This is not what we learned from “church,” but this is what we are learning from one another and I’m a happy homospiritual hippie right now, knowing that my risks, as great as they seem are well worth it.

Early this week, part of my process was to cut a large piece of canvas from a roll that was tucked away in my closet, grab a hammer and nails and display this “open space” on my living room wall. As you can see, I’ve unleashed the acrylics on it and it is telling me more about what is on my mind and clearly, on my heart.

Incomplete but "whole" painting process

This is especially enjoyable because I don’t want to “do” anything with this type of art. It’s just me being with a canvas, being with the paint and being with the music that I play while I paint.

Me.

Being.

Not doing.

And aren’t we our happiest when we are human beings, not human doings?

Not cliché at all, is it? It’s that centering point that we need to remember when there are too many emails to respond to, petitions to sign, blogs to read, Facebook pages to follow, and injustices to make right.

Human beings.

Open to one another.

Wow.

Who knew it would be so magical?

~

This post is dedicated to the administrators of the FB page “Helping Other People Evolve.” With every post I feel like I’m standing a little more upright in my soul, my thinking becomes clearer and my decisions aren’t based on self-survival but on serving others. Well done over there: www.facebook.com/pages/HOPE-Helping-Other-People-Evolve/179353108783929

“By keeping your heart tender, your soul soft, you are remaining malleable – receptive to the wonder of nature.”

PS. Please keep the emails coming. They are all very dear to me and I welcome the opportunity to be the person who allows you to give voice to your story, if only in an email. Very powerful! (gail_dickert@yahoo.com)