Top 10 Ex-Gay Slogans

Who is the oppressor?I need some dark humor before my Reiki session. As some of you know from my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/homospirituality), I’m having fun with what I’m calling “creative activism.” (uh, a.k.a. satire). I’m meeting with “famous” people (who would never really meet with me) and we are discussing some of the most important issues in politics and religion. This weekend, I’ve been hanging out with Alan Chambers of Exodus International. Today we decided that Exodus needs a marketing make-over (You should have seen his reaction to the word make-over. Wow!)

So energetically, I’m sitting at a coffee shop with Alan and we are brainstorming slogans and taglines.

This is what we came up with:

10. Exodus International: Services include Assisted Sexual Suicides.

9.    Exodus International: Captivating since 1976.

8.    Exodus International: Where Worshipping the Heterosexual never Felt so Gay.

7.   Exodus International: As Close to Hell as You Can Get

6.   Exodus International: Pay Now, Gay Later

5.   Exodus International: The Softer Side of Genocide

4.   Exodus International: Where Men Lie about Men and Women Lie about Women

3.   Exodus International: I Survived Self-mutilation and all I got was this F*cking T-shirt

2.   Exodus International: Now Hiring Psychologists and Counselors. No Degree or Training Required

1.   Exodus International: Celebrating 35 Years of Christian-Funded Soul-Raping

Be sure to check the brochure stand at Faux Community Megachurch near you for these new marketing materials. We are very proud of them. The Lord really spoke through us and people will be moved to change who they are and become their whole heterosexual selves, just like us…

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Thus concludes my snarkiest post ever!

I’ll publish, right or wrong; Fools are my theme, let satire by my song.” – Lord Byron

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Dedicating this post to Michael Bussee, a co-founder of Exodus International who has publically denounced the practices and beliefs of Exodus International. Thank you for trying to make it right. http://www.beyondexgay.com/article/busseeapology

Reshared Spring 2013, in honor of an upcoming meeting involving Alan Chambers… only a few years in the making 😉

Update: A spoken word piece on the topic…

7 thoughts on “Top 10 Ex-Gay Slogans

  1. OMG these are amazing. So insightful, searing, and painfully accurate. Thank you for this liberating work in dealing with ex-gay trauma. And their funny too in that “ouch humor” sort of way.

    • Ouch humor is often the most healing ;0) I don’t think I knew I could laugh at the ex-gay experience until I met you, so you share in the blame you for this post!

  2. Girl, I LOVE this!
    So right on. And yeah…in effect, the ex gay industry is saying that the only good gay is a dead one.
    Dead as in non existent as far as the rest of the world is concerned. If you’re not living as a gay person, then you don’t exist.

    I take unkindly to the idea that roughly 10-15% of the world’s population is required to be further supplanted by such a huge majority of the rest of humanity. Isn’t 90% or so ENOUGH heterosexuals to go around?
    I resent it being taken for granted that some us straight people aren’t interested in gay folks as a matter of keeping things diverse, lively and sharing our lives together as powerful allies, friends and family.

    It’s not natural to be taught to be so hostile and paranoid of gay people (who are not strangers to all mankind), that even children are endangered by it. It’s not natural if such teaching is SO reinforced over and over year after year that children become well versed in what stereotypes to look for and to assault whoever has them accordingly.
    Making the accusation and assertion of gay people indoctrinating children ludicrous beyond belief.

    Hi Petersen! MWAH!

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